i guess it has come to my realisation that i hate stupidity so much because its a sign of weakness. and anything that is a sign of weakness, i despise. being dependent on someone else for happiness to me, is a sign of weakness. and perhaps thats the biggest reason why i am so afraid of the idea of being attached to someone. i dont want to be weak. and if the people i love get to that stage, i start to detach myself from them, find them irksome because i cannot comprehend why they choose to succumb to weakness.
i am afraid. i wont deny it any longer. and the longer i can run away from it, the better. its just so much easier being alone.