i was not magnificent.


Is it normal? To constantly question what I believe in, or to question what is my purpose in Life at all. To ponder if I am here, simply to exist, or to live. It feels like sometimes the receptors in my head are over sensitive, and from the littlest occurrences everyday, the questions come forth again.

To be completely frank with you, my thoughts are as usual all jumbled up in my head. I am trying my best to string them together in a coherent and orderly manner, and do forgive me if it’s hard to understand, all these I am about to say..

I think for awhile now, I’ve been asking myself, am I truly happy like this. But is there more to it? I can’t quite put a finger to it, but something is just misplaced. And as for all misplaced feelings and items, everything just feels wrong.


It’s cool, isn’t it? Promising to make our lives easier/better since eons ago. We work so hard all these while, so that we can live better, but what is better? We were not made to live at one spot. We were not placed on earth, with a myriad of adventures waiting for us to explore, only to be at one place, so-called working to ‘sometimes go on an adventure’. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? You could say, “if we don’t work, who is to make the whole a better place?” Are we truly making the world a better place though? May I remind you, the wars that are going on around? Humans, over-mining this earth for all of its supplies, to support our overpopulation. 

Think about it, immortality. As much as we want to live forever, we can’t. As much as we don’t want to let go of Life, or our loved ones, we have to. Simply because that is Life. It is impossible that the earth can support today’s population, and the population fifty years later, without collapsing. Nature has its way of flushing out her toxins, which is why natural disasters happen. As bad as it sounds, survival of the fittest is very real. 

So with that being said, the majority of us are simply existing. And I am positive I am not the only one who is feeling this way. There are the few who go through the motions knowing exactly what they want to do, why they want to do what they do and I am happy for them. But I find myself always back to the same spot, even if I thought for a mere second that I actually knew what I was heading for. I don’t..

Perspective. I need a new perspective.


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